You and your partner may be feeling stuck in unproductive communication patterns, or pained by harmful communication that reduces the enjoyment and support you could feel in relationship. Together you’ve decided that this is something you need to work on, how to have more positive connection with each other. It is possible that you may even be feeling unsure of the direction your relationship is going, whether it is time to deepen the commitment or consider separating.
You may see yourself as a couple with an overall solid and positive relationship, and you’re wanting some additional tools for remembering and maintaining this. You may have identified that an objective third party could support you to have potentially difficult conversations about money, family, home, and lifestyle. You’re wanting how you do relationship to be part of living a conscious life.
As a couples therapist, I see my role as that of a communication facilitator. I help you identify communication that leads to defensiveness and not feeling heard; and support you to learn and practice new ways of communicating so that both parties feel heard and understood.
In my work with couples, I incorporate concepts and tools from Nonviolent Communication (NVC) to support individuals to practice authentic expression as well as empathic listening to enhance the quality of connection. In my experience, it is when an individual can drop into one of these two modes that the dynamic shifts and greater satisfaction and depth can be experienced in relationship.